Why a Man Needs His Men

By TJ Dunhoft on 02/12/2018 7:50 PM

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Having a circle of Men is crucial to a man’s success. It affects his career, his life, and his relationship with his woman and children. All the successful men that I know have a circle of men that they can rely on for support and accountability. Having a circle of men has an impact on a man’s relationship with his woman and his ability to emotionally support her.


Four things that I believe should be important to a man are finding his life purpose, to always be working on creating the best version of himself, having a man or a team of men for accountability and support, and having the ability to generate genuine desire and trust in women. A man's circle of men is item number three on my list that a man must have for his masculine path. That Blog Post is linked here if you haven't read it yet, or perhaps need a refresher read on it: THE PATH BACK TO A MAN’S MASCULINITY.

How I discovered my men...

It was through my attendance of The Sterling Men’s Weekend (SMW) that I was reminded of the importance of a man having his men. I wrote a blog post about my experience of the SMW if you would like to learn more about that. After graduating SMW, I joined a Motomo Men Point Program where I was taught the skills required to be a man of value on a team of men.

When I completed my Point Program, I became a member of a team of men that met telephonically each week for about 1-3 hours. I chose a telephonic team because the closest team to me was over 300 miles away. Each week the men on this team come together to have fun, embrace and keep fresh the wisdom learned at the SMW, and also, for accountability around the changes each man is trying to make in their lives.

I am a member of two teams or circles of men. One of the teams I am on is the East Coast Registration Team dedicated to enrolling men to the SMW. The other team, which I referred to prior, is The Goofball Tribe. Both teams are telephonic but serve two different purposes.

There is a difference to a circle of men and “my men”. The men within each circle of men on my teams may or may not be considered “my men”. When I speak of “my men”, these are the men, or man, that has my back at when I am at the lowest point of my life or when I have the weakest context as a man. My men support me through thick or thin. I know and have 100% confidence in my men to always have my best interest at hand, even when I may be insulting and/or judging them. These are the men I take into battle with me and they have no objection or reservation about fighting by my side. They know that I will return the favor when called upon to do so.

Having men who are strong, loyal, and honorable is something I wish for every man.

That's the process a man must take to achieve membership within the same type of circle of men that I am in, or one similar to it.  I am sure there are other ways a man can discover his circle.  Even if a circle is only two men, it's still a circle and equally valuable as a circle of ten men.  Within our community of men, we have found that a circle typically has the best results with a maximum of 5-7 men.  If your circle grows past this, it's time to create a second team.  This is how you become a tribe.  The following are links to the tribes of men I currently am aware of.  I will add more tribes as I learn about them.








Some of the many benefits for being in my circle...

There are so many benefits a man will experience once he is well established with his circle. Each man is different, so each man will have to establish himself and trust the team.

Having accountability partners on my team has increased my productivity level exponentially.

Because I now had accountability partners in my men, my productivity level reached new levels with which I'd never experienced before. When a man joins a circle, one of his first tasks is working with his men to establish 2-3 changes they would like to make so that they can become the man they've always wanted to be.  My changes were deeply rooted in my success as a man, my relationships with my family and friends, my Life Purpose work and my career goals. The results were astonishing. It's amazing what happens to a man and his context when he discovers how to truly eliminate fear and doubt from his life.

Confidentiality being held by and for each man in the circle is a must and not something that is taken lightly. In addition to holding confidentiality, in order for a man to be a part of the circle, a man must also agree to be "Mask Off". Mask Off means that a man is to drop his “mask” and offer his true self to his men.  He has permission and a duty to his men to be emotional, ask for support, complain about someone or something, and really deliver his truth.  This is where a man can be pissed off, pessimistic, whiny, complain, and emotional. By having the ability to be Mask Off with his men, it helps him to avoid dumping emotional tension and complaint on his woman, work, and family.

A woman carries a lot of emotional tension around with her all day. There's nothing better for the sexual polarity of the relationship between the two of you if you can emotionally release that tension for her when she gets home.  By doing this for her, she will step into and embrace her feminine flow.  This automatically will amplify your masculinity because she's well into her feminine, and... you are being masculine presence at that point.  If a man can just give his woman the experience of being heard by just listening to her instead of trying to fix her problems, the relationship will thrive.  To be masculine presence for your woman is your ability to not take her emotional stress and depression personally, giving your woman the experience of being heard and supported with your love.  Often this is as simple as this... "Hey honey, it sounds like this conversation means a lot to you.  Before we get into the meat of this conversation, I just want to check in with you first.  Do you need me to just listen to you?  Or are you seeking my advise?"  That one simple check-in with your woman has the potential to take her breath away, burst open her heart with love for you, and motivate instant polarity between you two, especially if that is something you normally don't do.

By being Mask Off with your men and releasing your emotional baggage, frees you up to be fully present to your woman, your work and your family. Don't confuse "Mask Off" with never sharing your feelings with your woman.  I'm not saying that at all.  Feelings and the communication of them to your woman is something she values immensely.  So don't do that! There is a difference between being emotional and sharing your feelings.  Know the difference and never confuse the two.

It's also important to realize that asa men, we carry many different masks around with us in our everyday lives.  These masks keep us safe and leave us less vulnerable in the world.  How many masks do you carry?  Typically a man will have between 3-5 masks.  Some men have more.  Any more than 6 or 7 and I believe that man is over thinking it.

The impact of having my circle of men...

I think you can judge what the impact on my life has been by me having my circle of men. I can tell you that my relationships with my family, friends, colleagues, and the women in my life have all changed for the better.  I am more productive, have a better context and vision, and can more easily stay committed to my responsibilities as a man.

Find your men!  Your future self will be grateful you did and so will everyone else in your life as well!

That's it for today's blog post.  I hope you enjoyed it and that you found it very informative regarding the purpose of achieving and sustaining family and love in your life.

If you liked this blog post, Please Share It!  Don't forget to follow me on social media.  And please... don't forget to love yourself today!

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