The microwave oven, in addition to the seemingly endless amount of options, are wreaking havoc on the dating environment in the free world.
Think about it for a moment. When we can get a three course meal in under five minutes, we automatically, whether consciously or subconsciously, expect everything else in our life to be the same way.
How many dating app dates have you went on and within the course of an hour were like, "On to the next one!" And without even skipping a beat, or considering for a moment that either you or your dating prospect were just having a bad day?
I've heard many accounts from both men and women about their experience of catching their prospect on a dating app during or towards the end of the meetup. Helen Fisher, PhD, consultant to Match.com, and a Biological Anthropologist, said it best during a recent debate that dating apps should be referred to as "introduction apps".
How can we refer to these apps as "dating apps" anyway? You get maybe four or five images to review their physical appearance, and a couple of inches of text, if you're lucky, that tells you a little about them. Call me old fashioned, but I need a couple of meet-ups before I feel I have enough information to be able to ask someone on an actual date.
I get more detailed with this information in my eBook, Dating App Strategy Guide. I designed this guide with the intention of personal safety. Meeting new people can become a dangerous situation, especially if someone is new to using dating apps.
Think about it for a second. The finer things in life seem to take a great deal of time before they are considered to be of great value. The fermentation of fine wines, whiskey, and bourbon. The gestation period of a human being and other animals. Hell... it takes 18 years to raise a child, and some would even argue 25.
What happens to a cake if you take it out of the oven too soon? It collapses on itself! The same is true for intimate relationships between men and women. Have patience. Don't rush this! Give it time to peculate into a wonderful cup of your favorite coffee!
Do your due diligence when it comes to dating and searching for your perfect someone. Be picky! Have high standards! Listen... I know what it's like to sit on a couch by yourself on a cold Sunday afternoon watching football. Desiring the cuddle and warm touch of someone. I get it! Who doesn't want to indulge in the physical pleasures that come with being intimate with someone?
However, being patient, picky, and having high standards for a potential suitor will pay off in the long run. It's your ability to have unshakable confidence that you're with the right person that will get you through the really difficult times. And we all know how difficult relationships can get at times. We've all been there!
It's patience during your time spent in the dating world that offers you the effortless motivation to desire stay, show up, and fight for your relationship. You've done all the work. You've been accused of being a serial dater. Your friends, family and colleagues claim that your standards are way too high.
F*!# THAT! It is those same high standards and determination to discover your person that will get you through the difficult times of a marriage, or long term committed relationship. You know that this person is your person because you've done the work on yourself and your ability to attract and discover them.
When I discuss approach anxiety with men, I tell them that you want to have high standards. You want to be picky. It is these high standards that will have your girl feeling special and unique when you finally meet her. What girl have you ever met that doesn't want to feel unique and special?
It's important to always be doing the work on yourself. You must continue to chisel and sculpt the best version of yourself possible, and more importantly, even once you've entered into a long term committed relationship. Your person typically chooses you when you are at your best. Letting go of yourself once in a relationship is like buying a brand new car and never changing the oil. The engine's going to blow mate! Just like the engine that runs your relationship.
Maybe it's when each person has fully matured on their own path of self help and personal development that they are ready for an intimacy together. They could have even known each other for sometime before choosing to enter into a romantic relationship. I think it's all about arriving at a place where you've done so much work on yourself that you feel like you don't need anyone in it to fulfill you or make you happy. Then, low and behold, their they are!
Single people ask me all the time, "When do you know you've found the one?" And I say, "I believe it's when you've found someone and there is absolutely nothing about them that you want them to change about themselves."
Trust the process! Understand that we resonate people into our lives that are vibrating at the same frequency that we are vibrating at. Be patient! Be picky! Have high standards! Your future self. Your future husband, wife and family will be so thankful that you were.
OK... gotta run! I think my dinner is ready! ;)
Take your time. Enjoy the journey. Stop and smell the roses. And know that The universe lovingly has your back. Always has, and always will.
That's all for today. Don't forget to share this blog post with your friends on social media. Please follow me on my social media accounts! See you next in next Saturday's blog post or on our coaching call!