My approach to dating is one that is based in shifting your awareness to an internal focus rather than an external focus. Our work together will give you the ability to realign with your true intentions and integrity so that you can reach your full potential at becoming the man you've always wanted to be. I would like to mention here that I am a masculine essence heterosexual male who is only able to recognize his true gifts as a man by being met by my feminine essence reciprocal. All my coaching is best served from this perspective. For more information about me and who I can help, please refer to the "My Story" section of this website.
We will eliminate the habit that was bred into you as a little boy which is utilizing the presence of female energy in your life as a way to experience your masculinity and validate yourself as a man. One of the biggest turning points for me in my life regarding my relationship to the feminine (women), was recognizing that I was utilizing their presence in my life for validation. And it's hard not to. Growing up as boys and young men, the men we look up to in our young impressionable lives tend to create this dynamic. My father, my uncles, my close friends, the boys I wanted to impress to make them my friends... All of them judge my ability to be a man and my masculinity by how much female energy I had in my life. That is to say, by how many women I was dating or seeing and if I was able to be intimate with them or not. This is why women have such a strong motivation for congruency tests, and understandably so. They are testing new men who are pursuing them for romance, whether consciously or subconsciously, to determine and protect themselves from this type of man injuring their heart, their ability to trust and their ability to love a man because of the pain experienced from a past relationship where a man was using them as a means for validation. By breaking this awful habit of outward validation seeking with women, it gives you the ability to respect, love and honor them. Which then opens up the internal space for you as a man to respectfully and responsibly recognize how to earn their respect rather than their approval.
Our work together will also give you the ability to completely remove approval-seeking and pleasure-seeking energy from your context as a man while in the presence of and during your approach to meeting a new woman. Outcome dependency with women will also be eliminated. This will enable you to truly be in the moment with a woman so that you both can truly enjoy sharing time and space together.
According to Diana and Michael Richardson, in their book, TANTRIC SEX FOR MEN, Making Love a Meditation, Man in his essence is pure presence. Woman in her essence is pure, unconditional love. My approach to restoring family and love in our world through my dating and relationship coaching involves bringing awareness and understanding of what masculine and feminine essences are, and the importance of the sexual polarity between them. I believe a key to having emotional and sexual fulfillment in our intimate relationships with each other as men and women require us to behave true to our sexual essence. The same can also be said regarding the ability to attract our sexual essence reciprocal in the world of dating. Our work's starting point is discovering your true sexual essence as a man so that you have the vital knowledge needed to know yourself fully, attract the woman of your dreams, or better yet, keep the one you already have!
There truly is nothing more valuable than the knowledge of your own sexual essence while single in the dating world. This information takes you to the core of your being, and the nature of your existence as a man or as a woman. By being aware of your true nature, it strengthens your context as a man so that you have ability to attract your feminine sexual essence reciprocal. Not only that, but once in an LTCR, this same knowledge can be used to create an environment that fulfills and satiates the both of you in your intimate relationship with one another.
Talk about confidence... the power of knowing your sexual essence and how to use it to your advantage will motivate an effortless confidence about you. Knowing your natural sexula essence, in addition to Life Purpose awareness, will give you the swagger often talked about but rarely seen or experienced in today's men. And it will certainly give you the experience of "being seen" by the feminine. This is the true path to discovering what it means to be an Alpha Male. Unfortunately today, the cliche meaning of Alpha Male seems to give men a sense of permission for treating women inappropriately.
Our work together will give you the ability to "be with" the wild and calm side of feminine essence and energy. No longer will you feel motivated to retreat from it. No longer will you feel defeated by her indecision. No longer will you take her emotional state or energy personally. You will discover how to create the space with your masculine presence so that she can experience being heard and not fixed.
Your dating app profiles will be redesigned so that you get more opportunities with the women who you desire to date. Dating apps are a lot of fun if you know how to use them appropriately. It's important to recognize that dating apps are meant to give you opportunities with meeting people who you'd otherwise not cross paths with in your everyday life. To limit yourself to dating apps only is a big mistake because it limits your ability to be social, or have and strengthen the social skills required to be able to approach women who you cross paths with in the real world.
Approaching women will be less intimidating. It's important to understand that approach anxiety with women will never truly go away. I believe approach anxiety can serve you as man by an indication that the person who you are desiring to approach means something to you. That is to say, she matters and is unique to you. You perceive her to be of high quality and value to you, which is basically what she wants to feel from you anyway; that she means something to you, that out of all the women in the room, you chose her. Be careful here during your approach. Make sure you don't have her on a pedestal. If you do, it potentially, and more than likely, will motivate her to reject you. Your energy will feel off or awkward to her. Pedestals are good, but only once you've responsibly earned her respect are you able to put her there. Not during your initial approach. We will fix that too!
Women, the feminine essence, is "e"motion. Energy in motion. Because she is emotion and energy, she can feel when your energy is off. And, your woman in an LTCR can feel into your heart and discover whether you are aligned with your true intentions and integrity or not. This is extremely valuable information. However, most men are not able to perceive it as nothing more than criticism, or her being a bitch. Which coming from a woman, outside of rejection, is one of the hardest pains to experience as a man. The other side of that coin of pain is one of man's greatest treasures, to be welcome and received by a woman's welcome and unconditional love.
To be clear, when I refer to "relationship coaching", it is coaching for a man around his relationship with his woman. I currently do not offer relationship coaching for couples, but I do believe my coaching with the masculine will have a positive impact on his relationship with his woman or intimate partner.
One may ask... How did you get here TJ? What makes you so qualified to help me achieve my personal dating and relationship goals with women? Well... through skinning my knees during my own short comings, perceived injustices, or negative occurrences and events. Hard work. Doors opened and closed. Being a Sterling Institute of Relationship Men's Weekend graduate. Membership and participation on two Men's Teams. Living life in the ups and downs of the dating world myself. Working with numerous life, dating, and intimacy coaches. Experience in the pick-up industry as a client and a coach. Taking a nine-day Vision Quest in Colorado on The Continental Divide for the purpose of discovering my Life Purpose. Interviewing countless men and women in everyday life about the pain they have experienced in their lives around romance, dating, and intimacy. Reading hundreds of books on the subject matter of pick-up, female sexuality, psychology, relationships, self-help and personal development, and attending numerous seminars and workshops. Consulting, coaching and troubleshooting with men and their issues with women on a number of private social media websites. Coaching men directly and indirectly. And finally, graduating from a Co-Active Coaching educational program by Coaching Training Institute (CTI) where I am currently working on my certification. I’ve also taken a fundamentals class from CRR Global, which is an organizational and relationship systems coaching program I plan on completing as well.
I spent a couple of years in the pick-up industry as a client and as a coach. I wanted to set myself up to be successful for attracting the woman of my dreams into my life, and then once she was there, create a fulfilling, satiating, and sustainable intimate relationship for the both of us. It was the pain I suffered in my parents failed marriage and my own, the experience of never being seen by the feminine, and my, take it apart and put it back together mentality that motivated my pursuit of achieving love, family, and happiness in my life. I believed all my answers could be discovered by taking a journey down the long, winding, sometimes very frustrating and confusing road known as the game of pick-up.
I worked with many coaches, attended numerous seminars/workshops, and read a lot of books and literature. All regarding how to pick-up women. I learned so much about myself during that time. I also learned a great deal about women too. It was my learning what not to do that served me best in knowing what to do. I refer to this time in my life as, earning my "yes" through experiencing my "no". I had to experience what I didn't want in order to be able to recognize and claim what I did want.
I had a lot of fun, but ultimately, this work did not turn out to be my Life Purpose work as I once thought it was. There was something very unsettling to me about this industry. It certainly has a dark side that totally turned me off to it, and motivated me to go back to my drawing board of Life Purpose discovery. You see? My Life Purpose didn't come to me fully articulated. It came to me in small bursts of energy or incomplete premonitions that I ran with. I took each the distance until it no longer served me or felt true to continue. I didn't throw everything out the window once I discovered that a premonition was no longer true for me. I held on to the beneficial information that I learned during the process of investigating the premonition that no longer served me, and then started on the next one. And finally, my Life Purpose fully revealed itself to me.
I'd like to finish here with the following paragraph from another one of my top five books. David Deida's book, Intimate Communion, Awakening Your Sexual Essence. Mr. Deida is my guru. I greatly value this man and his work as it has touched my soul deeply. David's work changed my life. Now it's my turn to give back...
"Today's relationship landscape is littered with lost men who have weak Masculine energy and hardened women who have weak Feminine energy, complaining that their partners don't give them what they want. It is time to reclaim the fullness of Masculine and Feminine, and attract the kind of partner who can fulfill our true desires."
Take this walk with me! Let our work birth the life you've always wanted to live as a man. A life that has integrity! A life that has accountability and leadership! A life you create and claim! Now is the time my friend. The time for crowning yourself King, slaying your dragons, and claiming your Queen!
The way to hire me as your Dating Coach exists through first downloading and purchasing one of my eBooks around dating. They include Approach Anxiety and how to make your approach anxiety with women work for you, rather than against you. My Law of Attraction Dating Guide on how to manifest the person of your dreams, and also the best version of yourself in the porcess. Discovering your natural Sexual Essence and how to setup a dating app based on that information. So click your way over to my Products page and download one of them today!